I lit a candle tonight. A small taper with about a 30 minute burn time. I had nothing to hold it so I held it, and sat. My mind immediately went to motherhood. Maybe because we just had my step kids for the last few days, maybe because it's the week of Mother's Day. Either way, I sat and watched the candle and thought about motherhood.
As I watched the flame on the candle flicker, I realized the candle and motherhood are not that different after all. It flickered and pulsed and would almost burn out, but, even in the moments of almost complete darkness it kept a spark. Then the flame would grow and light would fill the room again and all the while the candle kept burning.
My attention was drawn next to the wick, at this point the top of it had started to curl in on it's-self. I became aware that the same thing, the flame, that was burning the wick was what lit up the room around me. That which depleted one part of the candle simultaneously brought brightness. It brought me back to a conversation I had with my 5 year old step-son the other day. It was a tough conversation, emotionally draining, but to this day, one of the best conversations I've ever had with him.
Then I watched the wax, at this point dripping into my hand. BTW, wouldn't recommend. I watched how the wax and the flame interacted and how the longer the candle burned the more the wax changed form. For a split second I though about how in motherhood we can lose ourselves at times, but then realized the wax was not lost. Not at all. It had simply changed forms. It melted and took a new shape down it's side and in my hand where it became solid wax again. I sat with that. This realization that becoming a parent doesn't mean you lose yourself. But there is no question that the process changes you. It melts you, and sometimes burns you, and at other times asks that you harden and be strong.
By the end of the 30 minutes I had a few piles of wax and the very end of the candle in my hands. So I sat with that and all those thoughts. This simple yet profound realization that we can learn and grow and change and it's not always going to be comfortable or easy. But even in the discomfort there is so much beauty. That even though at the end of each day you have changed, you are still yourself. And that, to me, is magic.
Hi, I'm Karissa, thanks for being here! I love the outdoors and all things crystals! I am a dog and plant mama, step mom and wife. I make mala necklaces and teach toga. I've been practicing yoga for over 10 years and am excited to teach and share my passion for crystals and yoga with you.